Where is my home?

The trouble with moving around and falling in love with new places and new people is that you leave a piece of your heart in each of them, and keep them in your heart wherever you are.

We must embrace the struggle to make a home that feels our own. The unease that goes with it is a reminder of how important that is, and what is at stake. Without a local home we lose our roots, without a global home we lose our reach.

unknown

The last sentence of this ‘quote’ has been on my mind a lot recently. I remember having read and noted it down years ago yet at the time only one part of it resonated with me.

I am sure you have no trouble guessing which one I am referring to. I have always been extremely proud of my global home and the ‘reach’ I was able to have through it. Friends in dozens of countries all over the world. Work and study experiences in different cultures. Cultural experiences and understanding as well as empathy that I learned through this. So, yes my global home has always been my priority.

People have often asked me whether I wasn’t homesick? It was difficult for me to explain that every new global home I had, somehow became my local home as I often so deeply connected with the culture. And when leaving one home, I’d make a new home. I’d long for my old homes yet as they had become multiple places over the years, there wasn’t a single place I could feel homesick for.

What about the place people assume to be my ‘local home’(as in the country on my passport). As I mentioned above, I always connected deeply to my global homes and appreciated what they’ve given me in life. The country of my birth and passport was the place of my childhood. Most of my adult life experiences were made in other countries, so in a way I feel as if I’ve outgrown my ‘local home’.

Over the years, I have thus rather lived by the popular quote ‘Home is where your heart is’. And in my interpretation that was wherever I was feeling comfortable. Which has been pretty easy. I can feel at ‘home’ at a new place after just a few weeks or even days. I have moved so often and stayed at places such short amount of times, that my inner me usually settles very quickly.

Recently though, I am reevaluating the meaning of those quotes. After constant traveling and moving around my heart tells me it’s missing home. It’s tired of waking up in a dorm room with new faces all around it or in another anonymous hotel room. It’s tired of making new friends every other day that you never hear of a day after they left. It’s tired of visiting new places, one more gorgeous than the other, yet your brain is so overstimulated that it can’t appreciate it anymore.

When I mention that to other people they always respond with ‘well then just go home’.

And my response to that?

The moment I left those homes, I knew that I would never be able to return to them in the state that I left them. People move, job situations change, residence requirements become unobtainable… So each of my home that I am longing for doesn’t exist in that state anymore.

I have heard many times that people envy my lifestyle. And as much as I love it, can you believe that sometimes I envy those people who are happy and content in just one place!

My current mission: Embracing the struggle to make a home that feels my own